Yes, everybody in the whole world.

Ok, maybe not the whole entire world, but a lot of people do. And contrary to what you may think, they’re not all 22-year-old porn stars.

Remember that guy you saw driving the Caltrans truck on the 805 this morning?

He gets his back waxed monthly because his lady likes it.

And how about that schoolteacher you saw grading papers over a frothy mocha at Filter on University yesterday afternoon?

Yep. Her, too. She goes in regularly to get her lip, her eyebrows, and her bikini line waxed. Why? Because it makes her feel groomed and tidy, and she likes to feel groomed and tidy.

We know you remember the Matthew McConaughey-look-alike soccer dad you made eyes with at the gym last week.

He waxes, too. The whole shebang. Everything from the neck down, which is part of the reason why you couldn’t take your eyes off of his glistening body parts. This guy waxes precisely so he’ll glisten at the gym. (Hairy sweat glistens, yes, but not in a good way.)

Your dog-walker does it. Your tennis coach does it. Your neighbor with the Pomeranians does it, too. (Why do you think his eyebrows look so amazing?)

Everyone waxes, and so can you.

Why you want Dick & Jane to do your waxing

Now that you’ve decided to upgrade your own grooming and tidying program with some waxing, here are a couple of things you should know about why you want us to do it for you:

You could tear your penis if you try to do it yourself at home. Yes, seriously. And that would not be good. We get paid to know what we’re doing, and because we’re really good at it, you can trust us not to tear your penis or your eyebrows or whatever else you’re entrusting us with.

We have an extensive waxing menu. Wherever hair grows, we can wax it off. Arms, chin, legs, cheeks, lip, chest, you name it. Click here for our full menu.

Our staff rocks. At Dick & Jane, we know how to wax. We’re quick. We’re careful. We’re highly trained and highly skilled. We’re also friendly. You’ll love us.

We have amazing specials. We’ll give you 25% off of your first waxing service. Or you can buy one Brazilian (which we specialize in for men and women, by the way) and get the next one for 50% off. You can get 15% off of any 3 services totaling $50 or more, and we always offer 25% off to students and military with I.D.

We have two locations. One in Point Loma and one in El Cajon.

We accept walk-ins and appointments. This means you can either plan your grooming and tidying ahead or come in for a last-minute emergency service (and what a blessed relief that can be).

Glisten in a good way this year.

Sure, it’s heading into the colder months when we tend to let our private grooming go because it’s mostly hidden beneath layers of sweaters and clothes. But this year, don’t you want to be prepared in case your work holiday party ends up in the Jacuzzi?

In fact, now that we think about it, once we get you all waxed up and glistening, there’s no reason you can’t be the one to get that party started.

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